Happy Fatherhood Day...

Hi Max!

I grew up today. I became a father. Oh, yes, you are 7 weeks old, almost 8, but today was Daddy and Max day alone for a lot of the day. I got up, did the elliptical for 30 minutes, ate a bagel and cream cheese (kind of on this cinnamon-raisin bagel and cream cheese kick right now), and by then it was Sheri's time to go to the office for a meeting. This was going to be the first significant time (more than a couple of hours) for me to be "Home Alone" with you.

I fed you. I changed you. Little poop. Little wet. You did great. You also didn't cry when I changed you which was terrific. It really helps us to talk you through what we are doing, preparing you for our next move. That change went pretty uneventful and Sheri was off.

As soon as the garage door shut, you started whimpering a little bit. It was nap time but you were looking around with big, round eyes. I rolled your bassinet into the kitchen so you could be closer to where I was doing some work on the computer. You started to settle a little bit, maybe 10 minutes, then all heck broke loose. You were upset. You went from 0 to 60 decibels in 1 second. I went through my mind for the reasons you might be crying: hungry - check - just fed you, poopy - check - just changed you, burp - check - burped you before putting you in bassinet, sleepy - you should be sleepy but this wasn't that over-tired cry. Then, I smelled something. And it was bad. Real bad.

I took you to your changing table. Once again, I set you down by explaining what I was doing, but you were having none of that. It was full-on scream. You wanted to be changed- NOW! I unsnapped your outfit and unstuck the velcro on your diaper. As I unfolded the diaper from you, I had to take a step back. This was the MOTHER OF ALL POOPS! You had pooped yourself a small basketball. It was everywhere! {This blog is censored. I took a picture I was so impressed, but it was censored from the site. For that, you can be glad. Wow.}

I started with handywipe number one. It didn't even make a dent on what was on your body still. That doesn't count what was already trapped in your diaper. After wiping with handywipe number one, the stuff was so "all over" that I actually got more on your heel and your feet and on the back of your knee. I was making it worse by trying to clean you! Handywipe number two swept up a majority of what was left. Handywipe number three was used for touch up all around and in the cracks and crevices and rolls of your body. Poop had been everywhere, but you were starting to look clean again. Three handywipes later and a 5-pound diaper, I started to put a new diaper on you.

WHOA! Out of nowhere it starts raining... in our house! Water from the sky. Hitting me in the arm. What the heck? There was a fountain coming from your pee-pee into the sky. Great! You were peeing all over us now. I had to laugh. This would have made a great YouTube tape. I stopped the flow a little bit with the new, now used diaper. You got a little on your outfit, but not too bad. Don't tell mommy, but I just dried your outfit and kept it on you. :)

Perhaps at a different time in my life, I would have been upset, angry, impatient, or bothered. Not now, I was more in a state of wonderment or curiosity than I was in a state of anxiety. I calmly buttoned you back up and carried you to the bassinet for your nap.

I believe you sensed that it was just me and you because as I worked on the computer, you were staring up at me like, "How you doing Dad?" I smiled, you kind of smiled back. You kept staring instead of going to sleep. So I paused what I was working on (a Home Swap with a couple and an investor) and leaned over to the bassinet. I started slowly rocking the bassinet and sang my very first lullaby.

"Nap Time, Nap Time, Rolly Polly Nap Time. Time to Sleep Now Max
Nap Time Nap Time Rolly Polly Nap Time It's Rolly Polly Nap Time.
It's that time of the day when you hit the hay
You're quiet and calm because it's Nap Time.
Nap Time, Nap Time, Rolly Polly Nap Time. Nap Time, Nap Time, Rolly Polly Nap Time, Time to Sleep Now Max"

It will be on the Billboard Top 40 later this month. Bottom line: the rocking and the gentle singing put you out like a light.

Three hours later, mommy showed up. I was proud of myself. We did it. You and me. We didn't cause any catastrophes. I had time to work on some things and you stayed on schedule. I'm a dad. It was my Happy Fatherhood Day.

To Your Success,

Max's Dad (Michael)